Recent Posts

May 28, 2021
1,826 Days: What Do I Know Now

I read somewhere, the only difference between a first marriage and a second is this: the second time, you know it's a gamble.  You know that you just don't know. In my years of being single again, I spent a lot of time wondering. What if I ever get married again? What would be different? […]

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August 30, 2019
The Great Wrigley Test

"So, Tricia, do you love baseball?" People ask me this question often, and I have a standard true answer: "I love Peter, and I like to be where he is." Given a free evening and some extra cash, he's usually at the baseball diamond. So, if you're in Chicago and you love baseball, you should […]

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July 5, 2018
And I'm Okay with Annoyed.

With a tone of disgust and indignation, one of my children said: "Mom, Peter always wants the best for you. And the thing is, it's not even like you want the best for you. But he wants it for you. It's so annoying." Well, of all the frustrations for you. (He's annoyed because Peter's best […]

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June 17, 2018
He Didn't Have to Be

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new It always winds up feeling more like a job interview My mama used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run I met the man I call my dad when I was […]

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June 15, 2018
More than Filtered Cheekbones

I changed my cover photo on Facebook. It had been a picture of Peter and me enjoying ice cream cones while the boys were at camp, since we seem to be on a mission to have ice cream every blessed day of this summer. Sprinkle cones notwithstanding. I scrolled through my options. I could choose […]

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May 30, 2018
A List of Happy

Car Talk. "Let's make a list of happiness," I say. We were somewhere south on I-25, far enough south that we could see the end of the Rockies. It just came to an end, like the tail end of a pig. "You go first. What makes you happy?" "The possibilities." "Oh, good one. Strong start. […]

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August 1, 2017
Who We Are

 The Lord has done amazing things for us. What joy. Psalm 126:3

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April 11, 2017
If You Find a Girl Who Reads

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve. Find a girl […]

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June 15, 2016
Someone Else's Wife

Hi, Robb, I'm a wife.  Again. I've written to you lots over the last five-and-a-half years, over our two thousand days apart, nearly half the number of days we ever had together.  Today marks a new day, a new letter. I'm Mrs. Trish Heyer now. (Pronounced "Higher.") The world often asks me about my name, what […]

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June 9, 2016
Once Upon a Second Time, I Got Married.

And then there were four.

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May 21, 2016
Get Drunk on the Lovely of it All

It is Wedding Week. I am in the last seven days of one of the most sacred seasons of my life. I am ‘between beds’ like some people are ‘between jobs’ or ‘between relationships.’ We’ve moved the Single Girl’s Bed out, but the Married Couple’s Bed hasn’t arrived yet. So I’m sleeping on a mattress […]

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April 20, 2016
Legendary Tales from a Baseball Bride

In the revolutionary way Peter has of getting me on board with things I’ve never cared about, I am learning to be a baseball bride. The man loves the Rockies, and somehow, against all odds, he’s got me drinking the purple KoolAid. We went to see a game last week for Peter’s birthday. He’s a […]

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March 1, 2016
When A Codependent Gets Engaged

And so, with a sparkling ring on my left hand, I am faced with a second chance. A second chance at love. A second chance at marriage. A second chance at building a life together. A second chance to love well and completely. A second chance to give without losing myself. The thing is, there […]

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February 22, 2016
A Diamond Ring

Once upon a time, there was a curly girl and a handsome man, a cup of coffee and a diamond ring, and a million ways to say yes to one very important question. I headed into Starbucks on Friday morning to make lattes and frappuccinos for the morning shift. Peter had casually mentioned that he […]

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January 30, 2016
The Story of Peter and Tricia, by Tucker

Today I am teaching Tuck the grandiose beauty of the Working Lunch. We each have writing deadlines we’re working on. I’ve taught him the secret to it all: a great environment with just enough stimulation to keep you engaged in what you have to do, keep a great drink close by, and only let yourself […]

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January 26, 2016
How Does Love Happen?

How does love happen?  How does anything like this ever happen?  How do friendships start?  How do two people find one another in the perfect moment of the perfect season when they didn't even know they needed one another so much because they'd stopped looking entirely? Peter and I spend a good bit of our time together […]

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January 11, 2016
Single Parenting, Dating, and Boundaries

I’ve never introduced the boys to anyone I’ve dated throughout the last five years because I was so deeply committed to protecting their hearts and not parading men through this house who wouldn’t be around for next Sunday’s dinner. (Not that I dated with this kind of weekly frequency, and not that I routinely fix […]

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January 7, 2016
I Wanted to be Diane Keaton

You guys, look at what I found.  I wrote this a couple of years ago, but it kind of blew my mind when I found it again.  I didn't even know I was writing my own future. * * * I just finished watching Something’s Gotta Give. And now I want to be Diane Keaton. I watched […]

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January 5, 2016
I'm a Millennial Dating a Boomer

Peter is 18 years older than me, and I love this about him. Most of the time, an age difference is a non-issue, a nonevent. Just kind of a fun little detail that makes us who we are. But I’m not gonna’ lie, it was a sobering moment for both of us when we realized […]

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December 30, 2015
Driving Home on Christmas Day

We were driving home from my parents’ house at the end of Christmas Day. It was late at night, and the only light in the car came from the strings of lights on the houses in the neighborhood. Every single one of us was on the other side of the holiday high, when everything has […]

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