Recent Posts

April 8, 2012
Easter: Help My Unbelief

Good morning, Jesus, Today is your day: Easter morning. He is risen indeed. I wonder what is happening in heaven today, if Easter is a holiday, or if every day is Easter. I ask your forgiveness today, for how little I understand about resurrection. I cannot wrap my mind around it. Too often, your resurrection […]

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April 3, 2012
You Can't Promise Forever

My therapist and I recently uncovered this discovery: "You can't promise forever to a widow.  She won't believe you." It's true.  The biggest and best promises, the purest of intentions, can rupture in no time at all.  Only so much of forever is promisable. "Until death parts us" feels like a pretty forever vow. But […]

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March 29, 2012
"Be Joyful Always"

I am called to be joyful always. I'm thankful this biblical imperative does not call me to 'be happy always.' I am thankful that Courage isn't listed as one of the fruits of the spirit, that I can trust the Spirit's fruit in my life when I feel little to no bravery. Whether we are […]

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March 28, 2012
The Heart of Trust

If there is one great fruit that has come from my journey of loss, depression, shattering, rebuilding, falling again, and living in confusion, it is trust. I do not say this as a noble acquisition: look at me and how well I trust. I say it with a spirit of relinquishing: I have no other […]

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March 25, 2012
To Serve and Be Served

"What did you learn in church today?" "Nothing.  We ate candy." "I don't believe that's all you did.  Try again.  What was the story about?" They rush to answer together, their words crashing and bouncing like bumper cars. "Jesus washed their feet." "Whose feet?" "The men.  He washed their feet.  And then Peter stood up […]

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March 23, 2012
To Tell Their Story

"If you could ride on a cloud, where would you go?" This question is posted on the door of the PreK classroom.  The children's answers are quoted underneath. "I would go to Grandma's house." ~ Jayden "I would go to Disneyland." ~ Zach "I would go to the zoo." ~ Amanda And then there's this […]

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March 13, 2012
Well, Crap.

I've been a little distracted recently. I was tangled in a web of confusion, justifying, clarifying, and pretending, blended with ignoring, overlooking, and just plain not wanting to do the right thing. And this kind of mental gymnastics can do a number on a girl's emotional energy, yet still I leaned into the confusion, letting […]

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March 8, 2012
Million Bajillion Kazillion

"Mommy, that song said God is jealous." "Yes, it did." "But jealous is kind of mean." "No, jealous just means, 'I wish you had given to me what you just gave to somebody else.'  Like when Tucker plays with another friend, you might feel jealous.  When we give more love to someone else or something […]

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March 5, 2012
The Grace Confounds Me.

My spirit is light today.  How can this be? Only that I am carried on the breaths and prayers of countless. Jesus, let's talk about Tiffany. She wrote to me to say she has found You, committed her life to You - directly as a result of reading my blog. O, the grace confounds me. […]

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March 2, 2012
That Fierce Fearlessness

Little boys fascinate me. I mean really, truly fascinate me. They are fearless. Anything seems possible. Anything is worth trying. They are born with an implicit understanding that it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. If it's fun, let's make it dangerous. Loud is good. Big is better. And if you can turn something small […]

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February 24, 2012
Jesus Didn't Parent Toddlers

In his perfect holiness, he did not do what I have done today. Today sucked. Forgive me if you do not like that term. But it did. No way around it. My boys were disobedient and whiny. I was out of patience and fortitude. We were plain sick of each other. This house (and the […]

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February 23, 2012
Let the Joy Come Out All Day

I backed out of the driveway, taking them to school with a smattering of mismatched mittens and library books. "Who is going to pray for our day today?" "I will!" "No!  I will!" "Guys, you both can." "Okay, but I'm going first." "No, I'm going first!" "Tyler, you can go first." "Dear God, thank you […]

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February 11, 2012
. . .in all my lovings. . .

O God, I know that if I do not love Thee with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul and with all my strength, I shall love something else with all my heart and mind and soul and strength. Grant that putting Thee first in all my lovings I may be […]

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February 10, 2012 all my lovings...

O God, I know that if I do not love Thee with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul and with all my strength, I shall love something else with all my heart and mind and soul and strength. Grant that putting Thee first in all my lovings I may be […]

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February 5, 2012
The Unknown Perspective

Sometimes I like to think about the unnamed characters in the Bible, the perspective we don't get to hear about. Take, for instance, Zebedee's wife. I've been thinking on this paragraph, where Jesus asks James and John, the sons of Zebedee, to follow him, to be his disciples, to become fishers of men. "When he […]

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