I read somewhere, the only difference between a first marriage and a second is this: the second time, you know it's a gamble. You know that you just don't know. In my years of being single again, I spent a lot of time wondering. What if I ever get married again? What would be different? […]
"So, Tricia, do you love baseball?" People ask me this question often, and I have a standard true answer: "I love Peter, and I like to be where he is." Given a free evening and some extra cash, he's usually at the baseball diamond. So, if you're in Chicago and you love baseball, you should […]
"Mom, I wish you had some kind of record of the things I said when I was little." The incredulous look on my face may have been apparent to him, and I didn't mind. I wasn't hiding it. "Tyler, are you kidding me right now?" "Yeah, I just wish there was some way to know […]
Two of my third graders are getting married. It's so weird when I say it that way, since they're hardly third graders any more. In fact, one of them teaches her own class of third graders now. (Insert powerful statement about time flying, passing the torch, feeling old.) In my memory, they are still learning […]
With a tone of disgust and indignation, one of my children said: "Mom, Peter always wants the best for you. And the thing is, it's not even like you want the best for you. But he wants it for you. It's so annoying." Well, of all the frustrations for you. (He's annoyed because Peter's best […]
When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new It always winds up feeling more like a job interview My mama used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run I met the man I call my dad when I was […]
I changed my cover photo on Facebook. It had been a picture of Peter and me enjoying ice cream cones while the boys were at camp, since we seem to be on a mission to have ice cream every blessed day of this summer. Sprinkle cones notwithstanding. I scrolled through my options. I could choose […]
Car Talk. "Let's make a list of happiness," I say. We were somewhere south on I-25, far enough south that we could see the end of the Rockies. It just came to an end, like the tail end of a pig. "You go first. What makes you happy?" "The possibilities." "Oh, good one. Strong start. […]
We are a certain two people who will be married for two years on Monday. Such a celebration certainly calls for fueling up and heading out. No kids allowed. 1 L Coffee, black 120 oz. diet Pepsi, foam cup 1 Waze app, android and iPhone Pre-Approved Pandora Playlist Scoop of Show Tunes Dash of Funk […]
You guys, it’s November. And I just realized that I love November like nobody's business. For as vocal as I am about all things that are the color and scent and flavor of October, I think it’s possible I love November more. It might be a new affection, and if that’s the case, just let […]
On the day that Robb died, my mom’s phone became Grief’s Grand Central Station. She spent the whole day on the phone, letting people know what had happened, updating people on what would happen next, and fielding travel arrangements from friends and family all over the country who were immediately routing their holiday flights unexpectedly […]
I have a friend who says her favorite days of life are the days following a headache. She has chronic migraines, and they come to stay. So when one is gone for a brief amount of time, everything about her world is better, happier, brighter, and more hopeful. She says she never feels better than […]
Hi, Robb, I'm a wife. Again. I've written to you lots over the last five-and-a-half years, over our two thousand days apart, nearly half the number of days we ever had together. Today marks a new day, a new letter. I'm Mrs. Trish Heyer now. (Pronounced "Higher.") The world often asks me about my name, what […]
I have so many, many things to tell you about the wedding (where the sun shined through an 80% chance of rain and my new husband twirled me most gloriously around a dance floor), our honeymoon (where we became famous on a Newlywed game show; please hide your surprise), and the spectrum of my heart's […]
We’re walking through SuperTarget when I realize Tyler is carrying a pair of handcuffs. “Dude, what in the world? Put those back please,” I said. “Where’d you find them?” “They’re yours, Mom. I found them in your room, in that bag of gifts from your wedding shower.” (I’ll give you a moment to let that […]
It is Wedding Week. I am in the last seven days of one of the most sacred seasons of my life. I am ‘between beds’ like some people are ‘between jobs’ or ‘between relationships.’ We’ve moved the Single Girl’s Bed out, but the Married Couple’s Bed hasn’t arrived yet. So I’m sleeping on a mattress […]
I’m getting married in nine days. The thing about being engaged is that it puts you in a constant state of transition, and as far as I’m concerned, transition is the worst. I’d rather be on one side of the fence or the other. Sitting on it is nothing but uncomfortable. So we’re getting married […]
“Rob, how do you feel about this love story of your sister’s? How do you feel about all of this?” “Well, I got two phone calls. On the first one, she said, ‘Let me tell you about this guy I met, because I really like him.’ And on the second call, she said, ‘So, I […]
"Guys, I have a super important invitation for you. I have to tell you, it's not something most children get to do, and especially not boys. But I think you're equal to the challenge." They think about this, pretending like I haven't just laid down the most inviting gauntlet by challenging them to something "most […]
