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Recent Posts

September 1, 2013
Dreaming

Somebody was crazy smart to flip this place a few years ago.  The old mall is gone, with its Colorado souvenirs and outdatedness.  Now it is this sprawling outdoor mall, a fountain in the middle, green grass, white lights in the evening, ice skating in the winter, and some of the sweetest boutiques. I'm sitting […]

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August 22, 2013
Two Dads Leg Wrestling

"Mommy, I don't want two daddies." "Buddy, I'm not going to marry two men." "But you already married one." "And he's in heaven, which means it is okay if I marry again." "And when you marry again, I will have two dads." "One in heaven and one here, though. Not two here." "It's still two! […]

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August 15, 2013
Who Is This Man?

I have this vision that keeps recurring.  I'm not sure if it's a daydream or one that happens in my sleep, but the picture is clear.  Everything but his face. It happens in one of two places. In the first version, I am lying in bed in a hospital room.  I am wearing a hospital […]

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August 14, 2013
Romantic Tension

I'm flirting with the server.  I think he's flirting with me.  I'm pretty sure that's a romantic tension I feel.  (It's so surreal to learn these signals all over again.) He makes eye contact.  He remembers me from last time, though it was over a month ago.  Impressive. He has a great smile.  Smile is […]

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July 15, 2013
Danny Tanner

I'm at the White Chocolate Grill.  I haven't been here since I came with Robb.  For a moment I thought I was sitting in the same table, but I think that's only because I can so easily imagine him across from me.   That doesn't happen very much anymore.  That sweet ache of an almost […]

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July 11, 2013
Foreword Afterthought: Basketballs and Defining Relationships

Foreword Afterthought:  I don't write about the people I date, have dated, will date. If I go out with him, my respect for him is both implicit and explicit: he will feel my respect in my actions, and the world will see my respect in my words. When I wrote this piece, I aimed to […]

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June 16, 2013
For Dads and Not Dads

If you're with your dad today, I wish you a day that is beautiful, rich, long, and full. If you're missing your dad today, I wish you a day of soul care, of remembering well, and of letting sadness sit with you. If you're a dad who has outlived his son, I wish you a […]

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May 21, 2013
Square One

"Michael, what if I say to myself, I'm ready, I want to have a whole new wonderful relationship, and then it never happens?" "So what? So then you're back to square one. And you're there now anyway." - Must Love Dogs

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May 9, 2013
Choose Carefully

"Mommy, my friend told me this - is it true? Is this a law, that you have to get married?" "No, buddy. That's not a law. See? I'm not married." "Yes, you were." "I was, but I'm not now." He thinks of this, spinning slowly in my desk chair. He stops and looks down at […]

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April 23, 2013
Foregone Conclusion

"Tricia, you seem to write and think and talk about marriage as if it's definitely going to happen. Like it's a foregone conclusion." Actually, that's exactly what it is. I know I'll marry again. I know this with an absurd sense of clarity and assurance. "So does that mean you're seeing someone?" Nope. But one […]

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April 11, 2013
Let's just say, if.

If I were prone to wander, to question God's faithfulness, let's just say if,   then I might have a few new questions.   Are you watching? Can't you see that I long to be a family of four? Can't you see that my children are growing, taller and stronger everyday, and they want a […]

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March 15, 2013
Classiest Breakup Ever

That's a good man who will buy a cup of coffee for the girl whom he believes is about to break up with him. I didn't intend to break any hearts in this season of my life.  I did not.  But sometimes I just know that I know I can't continue down this path without […]

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