If I were prone to wander, to question God’s faithfulness, let’s just say if,


then I might have a few new questions.


Are you watching?

Can’t you see that I long to be a family of four?

Can’t you see that my children are growing,

taller and stronger everyday,

and they want a dad?


When the ADT technician came to install the alarm, Tuck asked me if he might be ‘the new dad.’

He asked me what I would do if he was, would I be so happy?

That’s when I realized he thinks ‘the new dad’ might show up on the front porch, like Publisher’s Clearing House with a bouquet of flowers and balloons.


They don’t understand ‘dating.’Β  And I’m glad.

I will not parade options before them.

Dating is a tough gig,

the whole one-two-three dinner dates and then we put a bow on this and call it done.

I’m not sure I’m made for it. Β Or, I’m pretty sure I’m not.

But I am made for knowing, to know, to be known.

I am made to love deeply.

I’m made for long haul,

for country miles,

for every day conversations

and thinking

and coffee.

I’m made for together.


At least that’s how I think I’m made.

Maybe you know differently.


Do you know I don’t want to be a hero?

I’m weary of being brave?

Can you tell me where I am on the journey?

How many more laps before I can rest?


Can you tell him who we are?

Can you tell me where he is on his journey to find our family?

Can you place within him a supernatural love for these little boys?


How much longer is this what you have in mind?


If I were one who asks bold questions.Β  Let’s just say, if.

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