Recent Posts

November 18, 2019
A Voice and A Choice

Tricia, this weekend we will be spending time with a ten-year-old boy whose mom died recently.  What cues do you have for me for interacting with a heartbroken boy?  Our time together is probably meant to be a fun distraction, NOT a heart-to-heart conversation moment, but I am just curious what sort of support was […]

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May 21, 2019
Springtime Snow and Sad Days

Yep. It snowed. Quite a bit, actually. Summer break starts on Friday, the community pools open on Monday, and we are in several inches of snow in Colorado.  It's all Facebook can talk about.  We are a whole city irritated. The tree limbs all look so defeated today.  All bent over, hanging low, burdened. No, […]

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July 27, 2015
Hands and Knees

I don’t remember why I was kneeling and crying. Last week was kind of a doozy for such things. I can’t recall what exactly pushed me to the brink, and I don’t know how I got to my knees or why I didn’t get up, except that it must have seemed fitting to stay where […]

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November 23, 2014
Flecks and Nuggets of Golden Grief

Grief has come to visit today.  I love and hate her, this dark girl who follows me around until I let her in to set me free. It is quite handy, then, that I have Anne Lamott's book with me, Small Victories. I'm reading her chapter called 'Ladders.' She has written my heart once again, […]

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November 19, 2014
Trust Does Not Come Quickly

Sometimes I picture myself standing on a tree stump just big enough for my two feet. In my mental image, the stump is surrounded by danger or things I’m afraid of – like I’m in the middle of a pit of snakes or a river of bubbling lava. I’m safe on the tree stump, but […]

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December 10, 2013
No Socks.

When I get overwhelmed, and sometimes I do, especially in December, my house is the first thing to go. No, the mail. The mail is the first thing to go. It's just a long, cold walk to the mailbox, and so I don't go. And then there's the dishes. We're out of cups. And then […]

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July 29, 2013
The Very Happiest Thing

The worst part of the big dates on the calendar - anniversaries, birthdays, days we shared, days everyone still shares in capital letters on the calendar - is the anticipation. It's the pattern. And I know it's the pattern. But when I'm in it, it hardly matters that it's a predictable pattern. All that seems […]

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July 14, 2013
Not into my July

July, I have tried to pretend you don't matter to me. I've made little mention of any of your significance to me. I just wanted to slip through this month, fly under the radar, perhaps pay little attention to the dates and memories and forevers wrapped up in this seventh month of the year. Yesterday, […]

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March 23, 2013
You Let Me Impose

"SHE DIED ON a Monday during spring break of our senior year. After her funeral, I immediately went back to school because she had begged me to do so. It was the beginning of a new quarter. In most of my classes, we were asked to introduce ourselves and say what we had done over […]

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February 27, 2013
She

She made an appointment to visit the house that was hers the day before. She brought two friends along, who began as real estate specialists and have found roots in her heart.  She arrived and saw that the new owners were parked in the garage.  She later found their things in the house.  Their work […]

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January 31, 2012
The Second Year

If I were to describe my first year without Robb in just a few words, I would choose these: Shocked. Terrified. Blind. Numb. I was in shock of many kinds, emotional and physical.   I spent months not believing that this was really real.  I spent nights writhing in panic and disbelief, the freezing sweat of […]

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