Recent Posts

February 28, 2012
Trefoils.

I supported the next generation of women in the entrepreneurial world: I bought our stash of Girl Scout Cookies. I stocked up on the usual trio: Samoas, Thin Mints, and Trefoils. Turns out, only Robb liked the Trefoils.  The package sits nearly untouched. Still, I'm not sorry I bought the box.  I supported the lovely […]

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February 28, 2012
Acquired Task

Tucker glared indignantly at the bulging trash bag next to the back door.  (He'll make an excellent indignant teenager, I foresee.) "That trash is always there, and I always have to take it out, and it's always so dirty." "And I'm so thankful for you, Tucker, because that's something Daddy used to do for me.  […]

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February 27, 2012
Recurring

I wake up in a cold sweat, shaking in a rhythmic pulse.  This used to happen all the time, several times a night, but now it's less frequent. And it's different. In my recurring dream, he has come back.  He steps into the traditions of our life together, and he's just suddenly there, usually making […]

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February 26, 2012
Mommy's An 'Offer'

"Tyler, what do you want to be when you grow up?" "A scuba diver." "And how about you, Tuck?" "I want to be a writer."  (Be still my beating heart.) "You know what, guys?  I've always wanted to be a writer, and I got the job.  I'm a writer now." "You are??" "I am.  I […]

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February 26, 2012
Kiss My Ax.

"Mommy, why is it so bad to tell somone to kiss my ax?  Is it because axes are sharp? They could cut their lips?" "Um, yep.  That's why.  No talking of kissing axes."

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February 25, 2012
Buckeye Allegiance

Robb would be very pleased with Tucker's understanding of the morning pledge. "I pledge allegiance to the flag of The Ohio State of America."

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February 24, 2012
Jesus Didn't Parent Toddlers

In his perfect holiness, he did not do what I have done today. Today sucked. Forgive me if you do not like that term. But it did. No way around it. My boys were disobedient and whiny. I was out of patience and fortitude. We were plain sick of each other. This house (and the […]

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February 24, 2012
What Greater Thing

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment […]

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February 23, 2012
Still She Reaches

Though her branches are bare, though the sun hides, still she reaches her arms to the sky. I had to take a picture of her.

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February 23, 2012
Let the Joy Come Out All Day

I backed out of the driveway, taking them to school with a smattering of mismatched mittens and library books. "Who is going to pray for our day today?" "I will!" "No!  I will!" "Guys, you both can." "Okay, but I'm going first." "No, I'm going first!" "Tyler, you can go first." "Dear God, thank you […]

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February 22, 2012
The Driving Lesson

He took his daughter on a driving lesson. He had been teaching her to drive over the course of many lessons and many months. Learning to drive was a pinnacle value in their family, since her two older brothers were killed in a car accident when they were 17 and 15, years before she was […]

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February 21, 2012
A Bill to Pay

I have a bill to pay today: the ER bill from December 22, 2010. Even though the services rendered didn't help my husband, even though it's nobody's fault, even though the patient died 12 hours later, I have a bill to pay. There are some things a death certificate doesn't forgive. * * * p.s.  […]

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February 21, 2012
All-Campus Pass

"Mommy, I am going to fill this desk with my art supplies, and starting today, I am the only one who will open the drawers." "Nope.  That's not going to happen." "Okay.  Nope."  Clearly his assertion had been a testing of the waters, an experiment of sorts.  And he found his answer. "Mommy, why did […]

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February 20, 2012
Author. He said Author.

"I would like to represent you," he said. He and his wife met me for coffee; he is the business, she is the intuition. Together, they are renowned in their field as a tremendously successful literary team. And he wants to represent me. Me. I think my expression was somewhat quizzical. "So, are you saying […]

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February 19, 2012
My Own Silliness

Sometimes, I am silly and spontaneous in the morning. (I get this from my dad, who occasionally woke his school-age children with a loud serenade or one-act play with multiple characters.) The boys were reluctant to get out of bed on a school morning, so I turned myself into a one-girl show.  As I laid […]

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February 17, 2012
Coffee With a Widower

His wife died one week after their daughter was born.  She left behind a two-year-old son, a newborn daughter, and a husband reeling and gasping for air. He said, "I'd love to meet you for coffee sometime.  We should share our stories." And so we did. He cried as he listened to my story.  He […]

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February 16, 2012
Just in Time, Valentine.

What happened to the old days when there were a couple of (zealously high-achieving, crafty and brilliant) room mothers who hosted the class Valentine's Party? Things have changed. "The Valentine's Party is on Tuesday, and all parents are welcome." Translate that in Mom Language: If you don't come, your child will be the only one […]

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February 15, 2012
This Thing Of Going By Yourself

"Mommy, this thing of you going off by yourself sometimes?  It's not going to happen anymore." "It probably will, buddy." "But then I cry." "Did you cry tonight while I was gone?" "No." "Well, see?  That's good.  And I came back.  I always come back." "But you're not going to go anywhere on your own […]

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February 14, 2012
I Never Told Him.

Do you know what he used to do? He used to warm up my side of the bed.  He would lay there, in my spot, so the sheets would be warm when I climbed in.  And then he would move over to the cold side and start all over again, warming a spot for himself. […]

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February 13, 2012
Together.

I cried, cried, cried. I cried so much, Tucker started to cry. I wanted to stop crying for him, if not for me. But I couldn't. He climbed into my lap. His language is touch. He wrapped himself around me. We cried together. "I miss Daddy," I said. "You are safe, buddy.  I'm just so […]

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