September 19, 2020

Today, I Said Thank You.

Today, I said thank you to the Starbucks barista who made my Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew, even though she is complicit in my addiction.  I won't press charges as long as she keeps making that goodness that unabashedly defines autumn for my soul.

Today, I said thank you to my dad, who gave me a stuffed giraffe filled with rice and lavender. I didn't know it, but you can be past forty years old and still adore a new stuffed animal from your dad, especially one that warms your toes and soothes your anxiety.  If you're wondering, the giraffe's name is Claudia.

Today, I said thank you to this season of my life, which I will look back on and fondly recall as the time when I lived with three men who each named me their #1 Girl and had little tolerance for the other two men who demanded the same heart space. It's exhausting to be Queen.

Today, I said thank you to my husband who loves my boys because he wants to, not because he has to, not because there's an instinct within him to love them, not because his DNA runs through their veins, but because he chooses to, because he means to, because he wants to.

Today, I said thank you to the ministry of the bubble bath. Oh, the words that can be said and the sonnets written for the healing powers of the bubble bath, and all of those in the vicinity of the one freshly baptized.  The bubbles renew, you guys.

In my heart I said thank you to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a pioneer and voice, a woman of justice and love and equality. And I said thank you to all the people who honor her in her passing, even if they didn't agree with the way she voted. I said thank you to the people who respect the breath of another person, who don't need to have the last word.

Today, I thanked the aspen leaves for changing, for dressing in their golden-yellow ball gowns and blowing my mind every year.

And right now, I am saying thank you to you, invisible reader on the other side of the screen, for letting me be quiet for a little while. Some of you even noticed.  You used the phrase "curiously quiet," and I loved you for it.

This summer felt vulnerable and loud, like everything I could say was too much or not enough.  My son broke his leg; both of my parents contracted, battled, and recovered from COVID;  everything was too loud and too quiet, too fast and too slow, too much and not enough.

I stopped writing for the first time in twelve years.

Today, I'm saying thank you.

Thank you for saving my seat at your table.
Thank you for knowing my voice, for hearing my silence.
Thank you for being the you that you are, the reason I still believe in the friendships of the internet,
In the gifts of social mediums,
and in the possibilities of humanity.
Thank you for giving me space to breathe, and a space to come home to.

In so many ways, my blog was my first love.  It feels delicious and good to fall back under that spell.

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What I'm trying to say is… thank you.

19 comments on “Today, I Said Thank You.”

  1. I fell behind in checking emails this past week, because I spent five days with my mother who is recuperating from a hospital stay with an exhausting and exhaustive battery of tests (most reportedly good for one who will be 96 in a month, but anemia and dehydration). On Saturday, you popped into my mind: I thought, "Gee, Tricia hasn't posted recently. I hope she's all right. I should send her an email."

    (I don't remember if you notified us earlier that the blog would be on hold for a while.)

    And today, two days later, I finally see your post, which likely came into my inbox about the time I was thinking of you. Welcome back!

    Yes, times are weird, definitely bouncing between extremes simultaneously. I don't know how that's physically possible, but emotions have little to do with physics. My best wishes to you and your loved ones, and I'm glad to hear your parents are all right.

    Thanksgiving is always appropriate, no matter the season. Your thanks help me remember to give thanks for my many blessings, too.

  2. And "thank you" for sharing your story. You took time to take care of yourself and your family. Your followers remain your followers to the end. We appreciate you.

  3. Thank you for your honesty! And example of self-care! I don't mean to offend, but honestly this summer was so hard and hectic here that I didn't have time to read much and I didn't really think about not hearing from you. But PRAISE THE LORD JESUS, school started and I am so thankful to hear from you and to have time to read this!! Parenting is hard! Parenting older adopted kids is hard, too! SIGH!!
    Thank you for reminding me to make my thankful list!!!
    Praying for you!

  4. I am adding to the list to also say "thank you" for returning to your roots of writing. Thank you for sharing and baring your soul. You were missed, along with so many of life's blessings we took for granted in this year of uncertainty. My former pastor always reminded us to "stay steady" when times were rocky. Stay strong, stay well, stay steady!

  5. I have missed your writing. Glad you are back. Prayed for your family this summer and so thankful everyone has recovered. As you continue your writing, I look forward to seeing how God will use you after what you have gone through during this time.

  6. Thank you for sharing! Thankful to hear your parents are well! I'm sorry to hear of the struggle covid presented. Thank you Lord for healing in so many ways!

  7. Thank you! Your writings always seem to come just when I need them. I am glad things are turning around for you. And, I am thankful your parents are doing better (many fond memories from OBA).

  8. Trish! My heart leaped for joy when you showed up in my inbox! I've missed you! But I totally get having to step away to fully take care of your people and yourself. Thank you for doing that, for that is a way of taking care of us on the other side of the screen. You bring such comfort and a fresh perspective on so many things that I have worked through. I am happy to hear that you and your family are doing well. Take care!

  9. Thank you for sharing your thank yous.This has been a rough ride for so many, but this to shall pass ( so I pray)

  10. Thank you for your heart and your honesty! This is such a vulnerable tender time for many reasons for so many people. Prayers your way...and thank you!

  11. Thank you, Tricia, for always providing that little bit of hope that we all so desperately cling to these days. I'm glad you're back.

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