When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll,
Whatever my lot,
Thou has taught me to say,
It is well,
It is well with my soul.
How I love this song. How I always have.
It's been my companion through the darkest seasons, valleys, and nights, I've raised my hands to believe again, singing this song.
But here's what I realized: it hasn't been my song on the brightest seasons, hilltops, and days.
I skip right past that first line so I can jump to the second one.
I skip the peace to withstand the storm.
But the truth is, it's always honoring to say, "It is well." Not just when the wellness is hard to find.
This season I am in? Oh, my. I can't quite wrap my mind around the joy of it. There's just so much joy, so much peace, so my happiness, so many dreams fulfilled. But instead of holding it with both hands and loving the living, I wait for the sea billows. I wait for the shoe to fall, for the bad phone call, for the bad news. And I surrender my own peace, waiting for the sorrows like sea billows.
I'm learning how much surrender there is in opening my hands and saying, "This? This is good. I will receive this gift without fear and without an expiration date. This is good because it is."
When I set the table with four place settings,
When Peter and I reach for the glass of water we're sharing during bedtime TV,
When we are singing in the car, all four of us, windows down and hearts abandoned,
When the sun is shining,
When my heart is so full it feels like it might break for a whole new reason,
When my children are learning and leading,
While we're in this sweet spot where they're old enough to be independent but young enough to still believe we are relevant and interesting,
When God's favor is abundant, though his faithfulness is forever,
When there is hope and joy and peace,
When every single night I get - and give - a good night kiss,
"It is well, it is well with my soul."