You may or may not know this, but there’s actually a proven way to score a snow day. It’s kind of controversial that I should publish this secret concoction of behavior, but I feel it is my public service.
When the weather outside is frightful, when the TV meteorologists have whispered the chance of cancelled school, when you are ten-ish years old and hoping against hope that you can stay home tomorrow, you can follow these simple steps, commonly called The Snow Day Dance, to carry your wish across the finish line.
Flush ice cubes down the toilet.
Eat an ice cube.
Put a spoon under your pillow.
Wear your pajamas backward.
Click your heels three times.
Spin around in a circle and say, “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”
Sleep with your head at the other end of your bed.
I am told that the only downside is trouble sleeping because of joyful anticipation. But if you do all the above, then your mom will receive an automated call at 5:00am from the district saying there is indeed no school on this day.
It’s a proven theorem.