Sophie Hudson is my spirit animal. She writes the words in her books and her blog (BooMama), and I nod and sometimes say out loud, “Yes. Yes, thank you. Yes.”
It’s the same way my brother pounds the table when he eats the Chicken Bryan dish from Carrabba's. Sometimes you can only groan and pound the table in reply. This happens to me when I read Sophie Hudson.
Look at this story she wrote in Giddy Up, Eunice. Somehow she captured my very heard on the pages, except in her words.
When I finally turned in my final edits, I had the crushing, crippling realization that OH MY WORD PEOPLE MAY ACTUALLY READ IT.
It’s funny how that works. For probably two months, I walked around feeling like my heart was beating outside my body. I was so relieved to be finished but utterly terrified of what was ahead.
If I had been brave (and humble) enough to vocalize my way-deep-down feelings, here’s what I would have said.
- I am worried people won’t read my new book.
- I am worried people will read my new book.
- I feel icky that I shared lots of feelings.
- I would really like to eat an entire plate of cheese fries dipped in ranch dressing.
- I feel unqualified to write a book about anything when I still struggle with so much.
You know. Light and carefree concerns.
Then she wrote about going to a Beth Moore conference, except she calls it “a conference led by a friend who happens to be one of my very favorite Bible teachers,” which is what I really want to be able to say about Beth Moore. “She’s my good friend,” I want to say so casually.
Before Sophie goes to meet her family for lunch, she has a few minutes to visit with Beth, “her friend who taught.” They hadn’t seen each other in a while, so as soon as they hugged, Beth said, “Sophie! You finished your book!” At which point Sophie fell apart in the most embarrassing way. Straight into the ugly cry, she says.
Beth let her cry and patted her back, and when Sophie began to breathe normally again, then Beth said, “Hey—what is it? Aren’t you happy with the book?”
And that’s when Sophie says how much she really loves the book, and she tells her all the concerns she listed above, minus the part about the cheese fries because a girl can only offer up so much vulnerability at once. The beauty of it is this: Beth got it. She understood and empathized. She totally got it.
“Hey,” she said. “Do you believe that the Lord gave you the words inside that book you just finished?”
“I do,” I said. Because I did.
“Well, then, I want you to listen to me,” she said, and she pointed her finger at my heart while she looked me straight in the eyes.
“You trust him with it,” she said. “YOU TRUST HIM WITH IT.”
Because I am finishing the last final love notes in this book, You Can Do This. And I feel my very heart on the line as it is every single time I bring something into the world that grew inside me.
Just when I didn’t know what to do next, Beth Moore and Sophie Hudson gave me my marching orders.
“TRUST HIM WITH IT.