Dinner Games, Fortune Cookies, and Ridiculosity

“Let’s play The List Game. Category: Muppets.”

“Mom, you always pick that category.”

“It’s because it’s the best one. Go.”

“Kermit.”

“Miss Piggy.”

“That brown dog.”

“You have to know his name.”

“You know his name.”

“Then I’ll get the point.”

“Fine.”

“His name is Rolph.”

“Oscar.”

“Big Bird.”

“Bert.”

“Ernie.”

“Skeeter.”

“Scooter.”

“Who’s Scooter?”

“Skeeter’s brother.”

“Who’s Skeeter?”

“Honey, if you don’t know, I don’t know how to explain them to you. They’re Muppets.”

“That band guy with the teeth.”

“Dr. Teeth is his name.”

“Animal.”

“A-NIM-AL!” (We all shout in unison.)

“Oscar’s worm. Slinky or Squirmy or something.”

“Beeker.”

“Me-me-me-me-me!” (We all say in unison.)

“Big Bird.”

“Someone already said that one. You’re out.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Nothing is.”

“Fuzzy.”

“His name is Fozzy.”

“Okay, Fozzy.”

“Prairie Dawn.”

“Sully.”

“Oh, I love Sully.”

“Muppet Babies.”

“That’s a whole community. Doesn’t count.”

“Are they Muppets?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then.”

“New category. Bananas.”

“Kinds of bananas?”

“Yes. Go.”

“Chiquita.

….

“New category. Super heroes.”

“Batman.”

“Superman.”

“Tricia Lott Williford.”

“She’s not one.”

“She is one.”

“Fine. I’ll go with Wonder Woman.”

“Green Lantern.”

“Captain America.”

“Captain Underpants.”

“He’s a super hero?”

“Yes, if Tricia Lott Williford is.”

(Awesome.)

“Green Martian.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Ask Siri. He’s a new Lego hero.”

“Fine. Siri, images of Green Martian, please.”

“See?”

“Okay. Word Girl.”

“What?”

“Word Girl.”

“Is this just another version of Tricia Lott Williford?”

“No. She’s a real super hero.”

“Prove it. Ask Siri.”

“Siri, images of World Girl.”

“You said World Girl. I thought it was Word Girl.”

“That’s what I said. Or meant. Whatever. Look. Here she is.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“What is her super power?”

“Um, hello? Words.”

“How does she fight crime?”

“With words.”

“Honey, we call that a Republican.”

“Whatever. I’m apolitical. And I win.”

“Okay, Word Girl.”

* * *

And the whole meal finished with this, the Best Fortune Cookie Ever.