(We were at Snooze and I had the pumpkin pancakes. Run, do not walk, to this menu item as soon as possible. You’re welcome for all the pumpkin and pancake dreams that are about to come true.)
It was the morning after the night with the comedian and the theology that broke my heart all over again, and because I like to process what I’m learning with my children, I decided to bring Tuck into my inner world.
I said, “Hey, buddy, I was thinking through something that I wanted to tell you about. I heard someone tell me recently that if you pray enough, if you believe enough, then God will do what you want him to do.”
His brow furrowed.
I said, “But Tucker, it made me so sad to hear someone say that, because it sounds like I didn’t believe enough or pray enough for your dad to stay alive. And it’s not about what I did or didn’t do.”
He took a bite of his chocolate chip pancakes. (Try those too. You’re welcome again.)
And then he said, “Mom, my dad’s life was God’s choice.”
I looked at him through tears. His answer was so simple, so profound, so spot on.
I set down my fork. I said, “You’re right, buddy. You’re so right. What do you think about loving a God who didn’t let your dad live longer?”
He said, “I just think that’s his choice, Mom.”
I said, “Sometimes God says no. Sometimes a person just has to live with a broken heart.”
And my sweet child looked at me with his genuine earnest eyes.
He said, “And you’re not the only one, Mom. Hundreds and thousands and millions of people live with broken hearts. And it’s all still God’s choice.”
* * *
Once upon a time,
my ten-year-old taught me
a perfect definition
of the sovereignty of God.