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There Will Be No New Memories

Photos on a table

I cannot speak for all of us who have lost someone.  But I do think I can speak for most of us.

I love to hear your memories of the one I loved who isn’t here anymore.

There will be no new memories, so yours feels like a gift to me.

If you remember something, say it.

I love to hear his name.

Tell us your stories.Photos on a table

Tricia Lott Williford

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  1. I knew Robb through his parents. Craig was my professor at Bryan College so it was a very long time ago. I babysat him and Jay several times. I was at your wedding-flew from Atlanta as my very good friend Carol Smith was going to sing so we were meeting there. Oddly enough I think your Mom picked me up at the airport-is that possible?. I’m not sure how I happened upon your blog, but I pop in every once in a while and read a bit. I love how you write-I write a lot too, but just for myself-would love to make a living at it-kudos to you! My memory of Robb when he was little is of a funny cute little red head-always smiling. Those boys were fun to babysit. Plus, Carolyn usually made chocolate cake when she and Craig were going away for the weekend-such an enticement for Carol and I as 2 college students to come and stay with the boys. They were sort of a pseudo family to me when I was in Dayton-gave me lots of good advice when I needed it. I had many meals with their family-always so gracious. They obviously passed that along. What I remember about your wedding is how gracious Robb was-I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since he was very young, yet he greeted me with a hug and thanked me for coming. My role was the page turner for Carol as she played the piano, and to tell her when things were happening-like when you were about to come down the aisle-she could not see from here seat at the piano what was going on. Also, I remember being at the rehearsal dinner and Carolyn thanking him for being in the OSU band and telling him how much they loved coming to the games and she said it was a gift he had given them. I took that with me through the years and when my own son became involved in performing arts all through high school and college and we were always on the go dropping him off and picking him up and travelling to shows I remembered what she said and saw it all as a gift. We made some of our closest friends through those adventures-all of us stage parents (which I see you are one of now). My son lives in NYC now, and because of Carolyn saying that at your rehearsal dinner, I remembered it and thanked my own son and told him what a gift it all has been. I am so sorry for your loss-I lost my father when I was 15 and I hang on to every little memory and story, so I know exactly what you mean. I recall a photo I had of Robb when he was very young with a big grin-perhaps toothless if my memory is correct. I might be able to find it and email it to you-it might be in a scrapbook from those days. I’m sure you have many sweet memories of Robb-he seemed like he grew into an amazing man!

    • Missy, thank you for taking the time to write such a lengthy comment of your memories and your heart. What gifts to me. The Willifords have always spoken so very highly of you.

      • Kind words….thank you.

  2. Trisha,
    Did you know . . . that Robb spoke of you to his CR trainees and how you could send out a thousand texts but never pick up the phone? He used you as an example of speed and efficiency as part of their training. You inspired him.
    Did you know . . . that I have a copy of your Grown-Up Mac & Cheese recipe, because I was walking by his desk as he was eating lunch, and it smelled so delicious that I asked him about getting the recipe? He sent you one of those speedy texts and within the hour I had your recipe. So sweet and thoughtful of both of you.
    Did you know . . . that he kept his Willow Tree Daddy figurine on his top shelf at his desk for all the world to see because he was so proud of his boys and being a dad? He never let anything block it from view. It’s in the box you now have. I hope you take it out and share it with the boys one day soon.
    We miss him too.
    God’s blessing and grace on you all.

    • You would think I could at least spell your name right! Tricia! 😉

  3. I have a memory to share – but I knew him only through your grief and remembrances after Robb was called home. But my memory of him is vivid – and I am moved by the role he played in my life in 2013. You don’t know this, Tricia, in fact I did no sharing on Facebook about it, at all, in 2013. In September of that year, my husband visited an emergency room for a chronic condition for which he needed immediate relief. This was so routine that I dropped him at the curb of the ER (it’s easy to chuckle about that now) and went on to my new job that morning. Unexpectedly admitted, just 8 days later, we almost lost him for something that had nothing to do with the reason for his admission. Because of your bravery, and Robb’s story, I wasn’t satisfied with a nebulous diagnosis or the speculative shaking of the head of his ‘attending’ physician. With literally no time to spare, I mustered courage to challenge every non-action and demanded action – and I can still hear the sounds of my own heels stomping the 150 yards from elevators to his room with great determination upon hearing his moans, and grabbing the elbows of the very first physician I saw, and demanded an immediate response. Two doctors responded, the attending nurses did, I did, and ultimately, my beloved did, too. You and Robb, together, inspired me to write my own ending to our story. Robb’s misdiagnosis, his face, really, was imprinted on everything about that loneliest night of my life. And before the doctors left the room, having ordered yet a third MRI, the tallest of the two turned on his heel, pointed to me knowingly, and said, “remember, you never saw me here.” I never laid eyes on that angel, again. An undetected abscess, of the worst kind, compromised my husband for the next 105 days of impatient and rehabilitative care. But he survived, he is here, and no matter the residual challenges we face, he is here. And so is Robb. Ever present and I am grateful, still, that he had the good sense to marry someone to whom I am connected through meaningful childhood friendships; who is so talented and brave as to share her grief in beautifully written words. And because of that, I was ‘hell on heels’ at just the right moment when everything was going terribly wrong. There are no coincidences. Robb was meant to be in our lives. Your Robb, and his bride, saved a life on Monday, September 15, 2014.

    • Denise, this story means everything to me. Much love to you, my ‘old’ friend.

    • Monday, September 15, 2013.

  4. Truer words have never been spoken. Those memories and the mention of his name are like priceless gems for the heart! I place them in deep in my soul and pray they never leave me.

  5. So very, very true!

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