skip to content

Likely, Unlikely, Fettuccine and Dating

Instagram filtered image of a family concept, shoes in 3 sizes

“Let’s talk about what is likely and unlikely,” two words that have worked their way into our family dialogue, thanks to the beginning principles of probability in second grade math.

“Everybody take a turn. Tyler, you’re first.”

He spins some fettuccine on his fork. “It is likely I will be bored at school tomorrow.”

“Maybe you won’t be bored, though.”

“You asked me to say what is likely.”

“True enough.”

“And it is unlikely that my teacher will go crazy and start screaming about toilets.”

“I should hope. Tucker?”

“It is likely that I will play football at recess. It is unlikely that I will eat cheese.” He gestures to me with his fork and adds, “It is unlikely that I will even want to look at cheese.”

(He dislikes cheese with great disdain, and somehow this fact bounces off my forehead instead of absorbing into my knowledge of my son. I am forever offering him cheese, the poor kid.)

“Your turn, Mom.”

“Okay. It is likely that I will write something tomorrow.”

“Duh. You do that every day.”

“Right. That’s why I said it’s likely. It is unlikely that I will go on a date.”

“Of course that’s unlikely.”

Hey, now.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you never go on dates. You haven’t gone on a date in years.”

“Actually, that’s not true. I go on dates fairly frequently.”

One boy set down his fork. The other one let his fork linger mid-bite.

“You said you wouldn’t marry someone without telling us.”

“Guys, I said ‘I go on dates.’ I didn’t say ‘I get married.'”

“Well, who are you dating?”

“You don’t know him. Or them.”

This whole idea has turned their world a few degrees on its axis. “When do you do this? When do you date?”

“Oh, sometimes you’re at school, sometimes you’re with a babysitter… just different times.”

“You tell us his name right this minute.”

“I won’t, but you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Why don’t we know him? Or ‘them’?”  So help me, he used air quotes.

“Because I’m protecting all of our hearts, and I won’t introduce you to someone unless I’m sure it’s a good idea.” And this is why I haven’t introduced them to anyone as of yet.

They each return to their food, quite tentatively. One finishes the mid-bite, the other swirls his fork in his food.

“Guys, just to be clear, the reason I said it is unlikely is because I don’t have a plan for tomorrow. When you ask a girl out, you might say, ‘Hey, I’d really like to talk more with you. Could we have a cup of coffee? Or could I take you out for dinner?’ And if she says yes, then you ask her when she’s available, and you make a plan together. I’m not going on a date tomorrow because I know tonight that I don’t have a plan for tomorrow.”

The tall one looks at me. “So you’d say it’s unlikely, then?”

“I’d say it’s unlikely.”

Tricia Lott Williford

Comments are closed

  1. Funny and interesting. By the way, isnt there cheese in his fettuccine? Parmesian maybe???

  2. It’s likely I will laugh and repeat this story to my friends! They love Tricia writings!

You Are Safe Now

Available April 9, 2024

This Book Is for You

Now Available
A book about falling in love with the Bible

Just. You. Wait.

Now Available
#1 New Title on Amazon in Christian Inspiration

You Can Do This

Now Available
#1 New Title on Amazon in Women's Issues!

Let's Pretend We're Normal

Now Available
#1 Bestseller on Amazon in Single Parenting

And Life Comes Back

Now Available
#1 in Denver Post: Nonfiction Paperback and Finalist for 2015 Christian Book Award
© 2015-2024 Tricia Lott Williford. All Rights Reserved. Site by Concept To Web.