A Few Things I Know

“What do you feel like you know, on that side of marriage?”

On this side of marriage, I do think I know a few things I didn’t know before –
before I married him,
before he died,
before I found air to breathe again.

I know now that it’s harder than you think it’s going to be.  And it’s worth every investment you make together.

I know now that you’ll never know everything about him.  As soon as you think you do, it’s time to ask more questions.

Don’t marry him because he’s handsome.
Don’t marry him because of his career path.
Don’t marry him because of his money.
Don’t marry him because of any promise, except the promise of himself.

Don’t marry him to complete you.
Completion is an illusion, a tall order for anyone to fill.
If you want him to complete you, you’ll only become disappointed and frustrated,
disappointing and frustrating.

When you free someone of the expectation to complete you, your day, or your life,
then you free yourself to simply enjoy the gift and presence they are
to you, your day, and your life.

Imagine that: the gift you can give by simply enjoying someone.

Marry him because you enjoy him so deeply,
so deeply, that you want to spend the rest of your days
laughing, thinking, talking, and breathing next to him.

And then, love him with all you’ve got.

Perhaps you’ll realize you loved him even more than you ever knew.