Girl Trousers and Man Pants

This conversation happened in my home today.

Tuck was hanging out in my bathroom, chatting it up with me while I was putting on my makeup. Which is pretty awesome that he wanted to be in that space with me at all. I needed to get dressed, I didn’t necessarily want to send his chatty little heart away, so I decided to enlist his help.

“Tuck, would you help me decide what I’m going to wear today?”

“Sure. You bring me things and I’ll try to picture you in them.”

“Thank you. This skill will make you a very good boyfriend or husband someday.”

I show him this cute black dress still in the bag from when i bought it last summer. He says, “How did you get that whole dress in that little bag? it’s like a whole world folded up in there.”

“What do you think about it?”

“I think you should not wear black.”

“Sometimes black is okay.”

“Mommy, your personality is so much more colorful than that.” My poet.

I go back in the closet. I come out with another option, a black sweater with sparkles on the front. Christmasy.

“What about this?”

“I thought we talked about the black.”

“But it’s sparkly, see?”

“Mommy, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But I am not going to say yes to black today. I would like to see red. Or pink. Or magenta.”

Confession: the magenta options are not many in my wardrobe.

I chose a purple and white argyle sweater. “How about this?”

“Ah! yes. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Wear that, please.”

“Okay. And how about these pants?” I pull out some gray trousers.

“Those are man pants.”

“They’re not man pants.”

“Mommy, if you wear those, you will look like a man. I’m warning you.”

“A man? That’s all it takes for me to look like a man?”

Tyler came into the bathroom now. Grand Central Station. “Mannish. Those pants are mannish.”

“You guys! They’re not man pants! Look. I’ll put them on.” I step into the closet and put them on. I come out. “See?”

“Man pants.”

“They are not.man.pants.  I’m wearing them.”

“Okay, but I warned you.”

I came down the stairs. Wearing the pants.

Tyler startled, “Oh, excuse me. I didn’t recognize you. I thought it was a man. I just saw the pants.”