"I'm so glad Daddy taught us about beans before he died."
Of all things?
"Yes, you know. How they make you toot."
"What else did he teach you? Let's see if we can name five things."
"He taught us how to pee in a toilet."
"Very true. And I am forever thankful."
"He taught us how to drink from a bottle of water without spilling it everywhere. Like you don't put your mouth over the whole top of the bottle."
"He taught us to respect girls. And to be gentle with them."
He taught you the beauty of Boy Humor,
the benefits of standing to pee -
a concept I assuredly cannot appreciate -
he taught you how to drink like a man,
and he showed you how he loved me.
Not bad for the Legacy Top Five.