Zofran and Zac Efron and You Might Need the ER When…

You might need to go the ER when your seven-year-old is so sick and so pale that his freckles have disappeared. I’m not even kidding, and I didn’t even know that could happen.

Tyler and Grandma and I were at hospital until nearly 3 AM, and this was the most projectile situation I’ve seen in a long time. Or maybe ever.

If you’re thinking, “Tricia, your kids have been sick a lot recently,” then know that I’m thinking, “I know, right?!” Believe me, I know.  It seems like we should have a wing of the hospital in our name… or at least a bench in the courtyard.

Things I have learned in the last 14 hours:

The brother who is usually the sick one doesn’t have very much practice at being the healthy one. “You guys are seriously keeping me awake,” might have been uttered at some point during the projectiling.

Too many nurses say, “You won’t even feel it,” when that is very much not true. I vote for honesty, please. At least then he’ll know he can trust you.

The “J-tip” they use to stun a child’s vein so he won’t feel the IV needle is actually more traumatic than the IV needle. I do not recommend, and we will skip that extra poke next time.

Zofran is a the most miraculous. And it seems like it could be the J-Lo nickname for Zac Efron.

You cannot-cannot-cannot get a little boy to give fluids he does not have. Even after a whole liter of saline, two popsicles, a can of Gatorade and a bottle of water. Even when it is after 2 AM and it’s the only thing test left to clear us to go home. Brings new meaning to the phrase “blood from a turnip.”

And also, moms of multiple generations are tough and amazing, even when sleep deprived. And even when there is only one chair in the hospital room and they have to take turns standing.

The patient just asked me if I’d like to have lunch at McDonald’s and then jump on the trampoline.  Um, I’m going with no.  If you need me, I’ll be hanging out with Zac Efron.