That’s What I Used To Think

I used to think I wanted to be with a man who had it figured out.  Then I found that often means his life is black and white with little room for grey.

I used to think I wanted as many kids and pregnancies as my body could withstand.  Then I learned that ‘can’ and ‘should’ are not synonymous.

I used to think I’d teach elementary school forever.  Then I got a taste of teaching adults and discovered my favorite thing in the world.

I used to think that shared finances meant ‘weekly allowance.’ Then I learned it doesn’t have to.

I used to think I’m not much of a housewife.  Then I learned that a housewife and a homemaker are not the same thing.

I used to think I didn’t know to decorate.  Then I made my home beautiful.

I used to think a man and woman should share everything.  Then I learned how much more I have to offer when some things are only mine.

I used to think marriage was the only route for me.  Then I began to wonder if I’ll ever want to do it again.

I used to think I would feel most secure with someone who had the answers.    Then I realized how beautiful are the words, “You know what, honey? I don’t know.”

I used to think I didn’t love movies.  Then I started watching the ones I wanted to see.

I used to think that changing myself for someone else was like stretching a rubber band  Then I learned it’s more like molding clay.

I used to think my intelligence and autonomy were a currency I could afford to spend.  Then I learned that’s not true.  At all.

I used to think I was half.  Then I learned I’ve been whole all along.