What can love look like the second time around?
What are the expectations?
What are the definitions?

It feels like it must be different from the first time.
And yet some of the same pieces are there –
they cannot be subtracted from the formula.

Photo Credit: Tim Wang

Photo Credit: Tim Wang

I have wondered:
Do I need fireworks?
Do I need that stomach-dropping feeling?
Because the truth is that fireworks fade and the stomach finds her stability with time.
So is it something to want, wait for, pursue, need?

In the end, it comes down to a lot of long days and conversations and meals and laundry.

In my experience, there’s the occasional firework or reminiscent stomach drop. But it all settles into friendship.

So, is friendship enough?
It seems like it should be.
Friendship is love. It is the lasting kind.

And yet, yes, I want to feel ‘loved.’
But add to that: ‘wanted’ and ‘fought for.’

Why do I resist that desire? Why do I think it’s a lame wish to hope for?

“The desire is set deep in the heart of every little girl – and every woman. Yet most of us are ashamed of it. We downplay it. We pretend that it is less than it is. We are women of the twenty-first century after all – strong, independent, and capable, thank you very much.”

~ Stasi Eldredge, Captivating

Romance isn’t everything. But it’s something.

To be desired.
To be someone’s most important.
To be someone’s priority.
To be someone’s favorite.

I want to be.
And a few fireworks would sparkle my world.

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