February 20, 2014

Love: The Second Time Around

What can love look like the second time around?
What are the expectations?
What are the definitions?

It feels like it must be different from the first time.
And yet some of the same pieces are there -
they cannot be subtracted from the formula.

Photo Credit: Tim Wang

Photo Credit: Tim Wang

I have wondered:
Do I need fireworks?
Do I need that stomach-dropping feeling?
Because the truth is that fireworks fade and the stomach finds her stability with time.
So is it something to want, wait for, pursue, need?

In the end, it comes down to a lot of long days and conversations and meals and laundry.

In my experience, there's the occasional firework or reminiscent stomach drop. But it all settles into friendship.

So, is friendship enough?
It seems like it should be.
Friendship is love. It is the lasting kind.

And yet, yes, I want to feel 'loved.'
But add to that: 'wanted' and 'fought for.'

Why do I resist that desire? Why do I think it's a lame wish to hope for?

"The desire is set deep in the heart of every little girl - and every woman. Yet most of us are ashamed of it. We downplay it. We pretend that it is less than it is. We are women of the twenty-first century after all - strong, independent, and capable, thank you very much."

~ Stasi Eldredge, Captivating

Romance isn't everything. But it's something.

To be desired.
To be someone's most important.
To be someone's priority.
To be someone's favorite.

I want to be.
And a few fireworks would sparkle my world.

3 comments on “Love: The Second Time Around”

  1. Yes! Hold out for the friendship AND the fireworks!! It will happen! You're right about the long days, meals, laundry, etc., that are a part of any marriage, especially with children still at home, but there still needs to be that spark that will keep the fires of passion lit for both of you. You, and he, deserve nothing less.

  2. Wait for that sparkle, lady. In my younger years, I dated a lot of different guys, but was in love 3 different times. Yes, really IN LOVE.
    For different reasons, 2 of those times ended and the 3rd is still going. SPARKLES for all three, that's why the first two hurt BAD at their endings. Don't forget, you have a compass.God will confirm and you will know because He says-and because you have sparkles! These two things work together. Be confident, let it have what it needs to show itself. You're smart. You'll know it. Love to you.-Lynda

  3. I like this Tricia, My brother's wife would like to experience love the second time around. She is still "young" in my world and I pray she will find love again. It will seem strange, but i will be happy for her. And I think my brother would be happy too from his vantage point of eternity. So I do not know what it would be like, but I pray that for you.

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