What do I do with words like these?
"Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." ~ Proverbs 3:7-8
What do I do when the very words of the Bible contradict what has happened in my life?
More specifically, what God has allowed to happen?
I have few answers this morning. Just questions.
And for every answer, I have two more questions.
And I can't really speak them out loud. My questions are a dark haze that cloud my words and thoughts. I don't even know what I would ask, really.
So please don't try to fix this for me today.
I only know I have no choice but to believe.
There's nothing else to do.
Here are the lyrics to a song I wrote when I was in a similar place.
My Portion Song
Everything I see is just confusing me
Seems the more that I trust the more room I have for
questions beyond my answers
Still you tell me just the same of your faithfulness and fame
And all I can do is say to myself
The Lord is my portion. The Lord is my peace
The Lord is my life, I’ll wait for him. I’ll wait for him.
Is this an answered prayer I see before my eyes?
And if I trust what I can see, how am I walking by faith and not by sight?
But all I can do is say to myself,
I’m looking up to you to see what can’t be seen
And the longer I gaze the more faith that I gain, that you have
answers beyond my questions
Still all I can do is say to myself,
Your brutal honesty in expressing these spiritual dilemmas is one of the things that make you a blessing to so many. I think hard questions are too often thought of as forbidden territory by otherwise good Christian folk. You, like a daughter of Job, query the Lord but don't allow your faith to be shaken. That is a beautiful and godly thing.
May the Lord encourage you with this: the promises of God are not fulfilled on any given day, nor in every day; yet because they’re from the Lord, they WILL be fulfilled. This earthly promise is as sure as the spiritual promises and heavenly blessings we hope and long for but can’t yet see in this life. Consider the hard testimony of Hebrews 11:39-40: “And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised, because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.” This note is already too long, but I would encourage anyone who reads this to go unpack this passage, in its context, with a good study Bible or commentary.
Meanwhile, Tricia, go have a great ministry tonight, because it sounds like your heart is brimming with what the Lord has brought you in His grace that those ladies need.
"Lord, where else would we go?" As much as I sometimes think I'd like to find out, my heart knows better ~ this is where I am, where I must be, where I am held by grace. But the questions weigh heavily some days. And that's okay. That's the grace.
Ah, the dreaded land between. "I very nearly hate you," in-between place of believing and knowing. I feel it with you, girl. Been there, will go there again I'm betting. This is a sweet place, though it doesn't feel that way. You will walk out sure. "Sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." And you know, I can always keep you company in the muck. XOXO
We have to be like Job- full of sores and grieved from great loss yet we persevere... Love, Lynda
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