skip to content

Tweak the Theory

There is a theory that says a parent should teach a child: you are so important, unique, and irreplaceable, that our family would fall apart without you.  Every person in our family is invaluable, and we need all of us so we can be who we are.  Otherwise, we would fall to pieces.

I see the beauty in it.  And there’s so much truth in it.  And a child who is raised in a family who needs him will likely grow to become an adult in a society that needs him.  He will contribute to meet the need, knowing the place that is his belongs solely to him.

But I wonder if those words are best utilized in a family that has not fractured and healed.

The boys and I are a very different us than we were with Robb.  But not totally different.  There’s much of him in us; there is much of us in him.  We are a new three.

If I tell my children that we would crumble without them, it would only incite fear: fear of losing another one of us, fear of falling to pieces since we’ve lost one of our four.

I think I’ll tweak the theory a bit.

In our family, each person is so very loved and important and part of our puzzle, and we would never want to do a single day without them.  But we don’t hold each other together.  We choose to create a culture that includes all of us – and the ones we love – in a beautiful give and take, push and pull, lean and catch.

We can each stand on our own, and without one of us, we would somehow heal and learn to stand again.

But we don’t want to need to try.

Tricia Lott Williford

Comments are closed

  1. That’s beautiful! Much better in my opinion for any family.

  2. Compassionately and accurately stated…in a broken world we know there will be loss and it will be painful. Some will die; some will live and those who survive must know that as their lives continue, they will incorporate the learning and gifts of the ones lost. It gives meaning and purpose to all of us–that in our living and in our dying, our worth in Christ is never lost.

  3. Beautifully stated, Trisha! We feel the same way!

You Are Safe Now

Available April 9, 2024

This Book Is for You

Now Available
A book about falling in love with the Bible

Just. You. Wait.

Now Available
#1 New Title on Amazon in Christian Inspiration

You Can Do This

Now Available
#1 New Title on Amazon in Women's Issues!

Let's Pretend We're Normal

Now Available
#1 Bestseller on Amazon in Single Parenting

And Life Comes Back

Now Available
#1 in Denver Post: Nonfiction Paperback and Finalist for 2015 Christian Book Award
© 2015-2024 Tricia Lott Williford. All Rights Reserved. Site by Concept To Web.