March 6, 2013

Running and Reading (on Facebook)

There are two groups of people: those who exercise and those who don't.

I don't. I applaud you sweaty weirdos who enjoy such nonsense, but I don't join you. I don't exercise. I don't believe in it.

Here's the thing.

People who exercise seem so miserable. All sweaty and sticky and greasy and salty. They say things like, "Please don't look at me - don't get too close. I just left the gym." See, I would not like for there to be an assured moment of each day when I am publicly stricken, embarrassed by my own condition. I'm not signing up for that.

Now, if its fun and it also happens to be exercise? Sure. Like, a bike ride. Or bowling. Or jumping on the trampoline. If I'm enjoying myself and I happen to burn a few calories: score.

A whole lot of those exercisers like to post their daily stride on Facebook. I get it. It's like a virtual poster with gold stars for you, all those little updates of miles and calories.

There are two other groups of people: those who read and those who don't. I do.

Seemingly, people who exercise are convinced that the rest of us are missing out. People who read are convinced that everyone else is missing out. It's one big pride fest.

I'm thinking of launching a new Facebook trend.

My statuses may include the following:

I'm thinking of starting a new book on Saturday. Any recommendations on the best ways I can do it without hurting myself?

I read 47 pages tonight! Best distance yet! Whew! Feels good!!

I'm going to start and finish a book on Saturday morning before the sun comes up. Who will come watch me read?

I will be so encouraged to have a whole crew of people (in matching shirts) to cheer me on at the end of each chapter. Totally keeps me going to the last page.

Seriously, Exercisers Anonymous, great job. And great heart rate, I presume.

Please don't write to tell me all the joys and benefits of exercise. I'm probably not going to start, unless I'm seriously attracted to a man involved in the activity.

But even then, he's probably not going to steal my heart by inviting me to the gym.

Now, if he tells me about a book he can't put down... Well, then.

8 comments on “Running and Reading (on Facebook)”

  1. I enjoy both running and reading. Both can get your heart rate up and take you to some of the most beautiful places in the world πŸ™‚ You view was very entertaining. Thanks

  2. I laughed out loud at "It’s one big pride fest."

    I love how you can be so insightful and hilarious! I'm so excited to read one amazing book in the near future...YOURS!

  3. Hee-hee! Just yesterday, in fact, I cancelled my gym membership, after having it on hold and not going for the past 7 months. I have, however, read (and bought) several books lately!

  4. There's a button on facebook that will let you hide people from your newsfeed. Just saying....

  5. So funny and true... since my grandson, age 6, moved in with us he might as well be my Personal Trainer. Just moving and keeping up with him keeps my muscles sore with constant use and new challenges that follow, "Nonny come play with me!" On a second note, I could not and would not go to the gym and get on that elliptical without my Nook and a good downloaded book. An hour of guilt-free reading alone is the carrot that lures me on to that particular horse. Still, it is all I can do to manage it 3 times a week. What you are doing is obviously working because Girl, you look amazing!

  6. LOVE! Books definitely increase your heart strength. Maybe you'll find a guy who reads while jumping on the trampoline! <3

  7. dear tricia....how this post gives me the hunger to read a book..it has been so long that i have done this and i used to in the past try to gobble up a book a day!...coming to your blog and reading your posts is refreshing...i am waiting for the day that your book will be published and if i have missed the news that it IS, i hope that you will tell me...life shouldn't be so busy that i cannot sit down or lay down to read a book, especially if it is by an author that i have grown to love!!....keep up your great blog tricia and i thank you that i receive them in my email....love terry

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