August 16, 2012

Just Do This One Thing.

"I hope this question isn't too personal . . . but, are you still seeing your therapist?"

I am.  And I don't mind that question at all.

I see her twice a month now, two hours total.  This is a serious change from a year ago, when she and I met for two hours every week.  I never missed an appointment, and I routinely needed a long nap after my session with her.

I am happy to tell you that anxiety is less of an issue these days.  It is still present, still something I deal with, but it is no longer the crippling menace to my everyday.

Anxiety creeps in when I feel out of control, when I don't know what's coming next, when I think I'm in over my head.

These are the same triggers I've had since the very first panic attack.  The difference is that my scope was much smaller then.

A trip to the mailbox seemed out of control.
A day alone with my children presented too many variables, too many unknowns.
A grocery list felt like too much information, the grocery store was comparable to the deep end of the ocean.

I expanded my scope by slowly learning to tell myself the truth.  I have learned to combat the dishonesty of anxiety.  She's a good liar, that one.  She had me in her grips for a long time.

The truth is, I can do those things.  And I can do the next thing.  When anxiety rears her ugly head again, I start with the same tactics I learned when everything was too much.

I just have to remind myself.  Believe myself.  Tell myself.

You can do this.  You're safe.  Just do this one thing.  That's all.

One comment on “Just Do This One Thing.”

  1. Hey Tricia! I'm friends with Melissa and I'm a regular reader. My sister is too now. 🙂 Anyway, I've struggled with postpartum anxiety for the past 11 months. It's been so debilitating. I found comfort in your post. I've slowly gotten better, but it's been a rough journey and I can only imagine yours has been so much harder. I've prayed for you often.

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