Happy Sunshiny Thoughts
It’s not that I mean to disagree. It’s just that I disagree.
Tricia, I’m so sorry you lost your husband, but you know he’s with you, right? He’s with you. Everyday. He’s in the eyes and the hearts of your children. He’s in the sun that shines on your face in the morning. He’s in the songs on the radio. He’s with you. And he’s watching you. I just know he is. He’s looking over the banister of heaven, watching you and the boys. And he’s just so proud of you. So very proud of you. I have a verse for you, and it’s directly from him.
I know people mean well, and certainly the memories and ideas of him show up in my life every day. And it’s not that I mean to shoot arrows through their sunshiny balloons of happy thoughts. But with all due respect for the things we tell ourselves and each other, some of it’s just not true.
If you believe you have words for me, I will listen and receive and process and pray over the words you’ve given me, and I will ask God to show me the truth in the words. But I’m not going to believe you have a lovenote in your pocket from Robb to me. While I do love the sentiment that maybe that could be from my husband, what I know is that Scripture is from God.
Jesus did not promise that Robb would be with me always.
He promised that He would be with me always.
Maybe Robb knows what I’m doing. Probably he does. I hope Robb has so many better things to do than to keep an eye on me at the grocery store. I hope heaven is way more interesting than anything I’m doing here.
If I could talk to him, I would first of all let him kiss me long and good. Then I would say, Go on back to the party, sweet man. Feel free to be where you are.
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Grace says:
Amen. Surely they have better things to do and trust God to provide well for us.
Jessica Renshaw says:
For all of us widows and former widows, thank you, Tricia!
It’s better than that.
Truth is relief and fresh air.
Terri says:
Exactly, Tricia. We have to cling to what Scripture says, not what our hearts might want to be true. People do mean well when they say things like that but it sure makes it harder to remember that we don’t have some special connection to our spouse anymore. I do hope that my husband has seen the good things that have happened to us in the past two years, especially our first grandchild, but I cannot know that and I don’t dwell on it. I feel sure that he does not see the heartache. He has too much praising to do to worry about us.
Jeanette says:
Tricia, I’ve dealt with the same comments since my husband died. I know that he is in Heaven, in the very presence of God. I know that he is completely happy and at peace. That just doesn’t square with him being able to see me or know what’s going on in my life. In the months and even years after my husband died, I was glad that he didn’t know about my pain and loneliness and fear. He is free of all pain, and I believe that means he’s free of my pain, also.